psa to diouana women with undeniable erotic capital
experts say women are leaving money on the table without it...
warning: this essay explores themes of erotic capital, beauty culture, and attraction from a sociological and intellectual perspective. readers may encounter sensitive discussions on these topics and are advised to proceed with discretion.
you’re either born with it, or you create it
the idea that one can say everything without saying anything at all has always intrigued me. it’s an idea rooted in presence, power, and warmth. where one’s actions, or lack thereof, speaks louder than any words imaginable.
it’s the idea that absence is the highest form of presence. that hearts grow fonder when enough distance has been reached. and love, or desire, is rekindled in reconciliation.
all of these ideas can be categorized under seduction. which, i have always said should be a lifestyle, not a means to an end.
by this, i mean that seduction is an externality of sensuality. which, according to me, is simply an amplification of one’s soul. the echoing of one’s essence. it is here where the sociological concept of erotic capital enters and captives our full attention.
the reality of erotic capital is dependent on the individual person: how they move, how they talk, how they engage with the world, and how they present themselves.
it is mythmaking at its finest.
which, i have argued, is a much more worthwhile pursuit for young (and older) women than simply being beautiful.
being beautiful won’t solve all your problems, but understanding, enhancing, and then strategically deploying your erotic capital might.
in this way, erotic capital can accomplish much more than beauty ever could. it’s a means of leveraging influence, enhancing positioning, and the supernatural ability to make yourself the subject of desire in any room. this is what we’ll be exploring in our next diouana woman salon.
the diouana woman salon featuring a very special guest…
when i traveled to london at the beginning of this month, i had the honor of sitting down with a remarkable sociologist, who, as luck would have it, is a leading expert on erotic capital.
she published a book a decade or so ago that i’ve been obsessed with since i first read it in college: erotic capital: the power of attraction from the boardroom to the bedroom.
our conversation was the 15th episode of a project i’ve maintained since my senior year in high school, my podcast, the catalyst.
even though it’s yet to be published on the catalyst’s website, i am sharing it here because dr. catherine hakim will be joining us for the next diouana woman salon as our featured guest and this interview will be helpful context for the salon’s conversation:
i promised catherine an engaged audience, so i ask that you read her book before the salon. find it here or here. it was during suggested during a recent livestream that we might start a diouana woman book club. consider this our first read.
catherine has also done fascinating research on other erotic elements, notably the male sex deficit in the 21th century. and that very, very interesting academic article of hers can be found here.
my hope with this next salon is that you will have the opportunity to ask any questions you might have as it relates to beauty, erotic capital, and the delicate interpersonal dynamics that come with moving through this world as an exceptionally beautiful (or ugly) woman.1
catherine is a scholar and an expert at what she does.
it is her belief that women are not utilizing their erotic capital enough, especially when compared to men (who benefit the most from their erotic capital2). and it is my belief that we should do something about that.
thus, the first step towards this utopian world where all women thrive off of our erotic capital is educating ourselves on what erotic capital is by engaging with the foremost expert on it.
we’ll discuss the role beauty plays (or doesn’t play) in it and how we can leverage it to achieve what all diouana woman are after in this life: getting exactly what we want.
if the idea of leveraging your erotic capital isn’t enough to entice you to attend the salon, consider the fact that dr. hakim is a sought-after expert and rarely engages in these discussions outside of academia or much larger platforms3. i’m told the australian government once asked her to deliver a country-wide lecture on her expertise, so it’s a real honor to host her at the diouana woman salon.
from an intellectual and erotic perspective, attending this salon is non-negotiable.
the details you need for the third edition of the diouana woman salon:
platform: the salon will take place on the same zoom-like conference platform we used last time. it’s free to use and offers limitless meeting time, so we can discuss your questions in detail and as long as you’d like. that said, i’ll structure the lecture, inclusive of questions & answers, to be approximately an hour and thirty minutes. with the understanding that we’ll have an additional thirty minutes to spare.
date: we’ll convene for the salon at 12p eastern time on saturday march, 1st.
everything else you need to know: the link for the diouana woman salons in 2025, and likely indefinitely, will always stay the same. so save it for future reference. ahead of each one, i’ll always let you know the time and topic. i only ask that you join, if you can; and you bring lots and lots of questions, especially since we’ll have a featured guest joining us:
dial-in number (US): (605) 313-5820
access code: 8127990#
international dial-in numbers: https://fccdl.in/i/diouanawoman
online meeting id: diouanawoman
join the online meeting: https://join.freeconferencecall.com/diouanawoman
for additional assistance connecting to the meeting text "Call Me" to the dial-in number above and you will be called into the conference. message and data rates may apply.
in summary, to prepare for the third edition of the diouana woman salon:
1) listen to the interview with dr. hakim embedded above to familiarize yourself with the concept of erotic capital
2) read her book to delver deeper into the sociological aspects of erotic capital
3) either anonymously submit your questions about erotic capital here or come prepared to ask catherine directly (or via chat during the salon) anything related to erotic capital
something old, something new, and something borrowed…
it’s often the case that what you plan for is not always what unfolds. i had a very specific vision for how i wanted to approach this platform this month, but i’ve been pulled in other directions. while i’ve been building the automated backend of diouana woman, i’ve also been toying with this idea that as we deepen our mastery of erotic capital, we must also examine its economic implications. this is where my latest project, diouana womanomics, comes in.
to give you a peak into the research question that has captured my mind, i’m mainly thinking about the gap in spending between women and men when it comes to developing their erotic capital, the widening wealth gap this creates, and the short- and long-term economic implications of maintaining a monthly full body wax appointment as opposed to a monthly automated contribution into an individual brokerage account.
that said, more on diouana womanomics when i’ve conferred with more astute economic minds about my analysis.
i know i owe you three essays at this point, but! i promise the projects i’m working on will yield the juiciest fruit. and we’ll all be the better for it once i’m done and back writing.
i look forward to seeing you at our next livestream and in the third edition of the diouana woman salon on march 1, 2025 at 12p eastern.
we’re hosting our first guest, how exciting!
p.s., before you go
comment your thoughts below once you’ve listened to the interview with catherine. i’d love to know what you think. also, please send any questions you’d like answered about erotic capital using the link above. literally, this is your chance to ask a published sociologist what she thinks about x as it relates to y (erotic capital).
sweet dreams,
a diouana woman
disclaimer: the views expressed in this essay are those of the author and do not reflect the views of any employer, past or current.
that said, there are no ugly women.
more on this in the interview. listen to find out more.
i’m so proud of what we’ve built here! intimate spaces >
Wow; I loved the interview with Dr Hakim; talking about the fluidity of gender roles & women having to become more adaptable to the prospect of us being in better educational & economic positions reminds me of an article I read once about the fluidity of gender roles in a number of pre-colonial (West) African societies, discussing how 'wife' and 'husband' were both titles that could be applicable to women, depending on the role they took within the home & access to resources. It was called 'The "Deviant" African Genders That Colonialism Condemned.'
Loved this article as per usual.