your life, your rules

whose life are you living?

disclaimer: the views expressed in this essay are those of the author and do not reflect the views of any employer, past or current.

this post is extra special because it was requested by my lovely subscriber, ada. i write for her, and all women who inspire me.

the only mindset you’ll ever need to play the game of life

there’s an intimacy that faith and confidence share. diouana woman live their lives nestled in this sweetness. from here, we develop the strength to play the game of life by our own rules. there’s just no better way to play.

a show i’ve recently become obsessed with is the wire. it’s a story about imperfect people living in imperfect circumstances. to that end, it’s a human story. the narrative thread throughout all five seasons of the show is this understanding among all the characters that the conditions they find themselves in is really just one big game. in the immortal words of omar little, the show’s outlaw anti hero, “it’s all in the game.”

if you do not choose to intentionally play the game of life, it will play you. it was carl jung, the spiritual successor to everyone’s favorite psychoanalyst, sigmund freud, who said that “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

when it comes to fate, i believe in inevitable ends. the way i see it, there are certain things in life that are simply meant to be. not necessarily because they were predetermined by the gods, but because you have deemed them so, and lucky for you, the wind happens to be blowing your way. i also believe there are things in life that the gods do not favor, and so they never materialize. and no amount of begging, pleading, or witchcraft will make it so. the gods have already made up their minds.

in understanding that there’s a higher power that moves things around in our favor and will not move things around should it not fit the divine order to do so, there’s a comfort in trusting that the things that work out for us in the end were truly meant to be. if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be. after all, there are no right decisions, only decisions made right.

so, when you decide for yourself that you want something; you want to become something; you want to have something; you must understand how this thing ends for you and then you have to make your way back to the present only to work back to this end. that is how you make it an inevitable end.

as you can probably surmise, i do not believe in taking what you are given if it’s not what you actually want. do not accept a life you do not deserve. oftentimes deservingness is conflated with self worth. they are not related. your self worth ought be contingent only on your existence as a human being on this earth. you are alive? congratulations, you are worthy of everything you want. now, wether or not you deserve to have those things is a question that can only be answered by you. and the answer should always be, “yes, i do.”

how to live your life, your way

this is the only mindset you’ll ever need to play the game of life. the question of living an unconventional life becomes both a moot point and an intriguing question because conventional and unconventional mean nothing to diouana women. we have inherent duality. for us, up is down, down is up; up becomes up again and down becomes down again. we are ambassadors of change and fanatics about traditions—especially our own because we play by our own rules.

to the point of playing by your own rules, it is imperative that you remain firm in what it is you want in this life. remember, do not accept a life you do not deserve. once you decide, let that be the end of any thinking on that decision. simply concrete on finding the pathways, the fractional doorways, and avenues that will get you to where you want to be. in short, stay dangerous and stand on business.

playing by your own rules inherently necessities living an unconventional life. this means you exist on this earth without the weight of other people’s expectations, considerations, or doubts interfering with your ability to trust your own instincts. diouana women live life by instinct. we know exactly when to pivot, exactly when to be humble, and exactly when to get up and punch life back when it insists on kicking us when we’re down.

the best part about this game called life is that anything can happen. knowing this, it’s simply a question of knowing what we want to happen and then taking the actions necessary to make our wants an inevitable end. it really is that simple. to obtain absolute clarity on what it is you actually want, grab a piece of paper and ask, “what do i want?” do not stop writing until you’ve arrived at the answer you know is the answer. and you’ll know. to avoid the trap of getting stuck in the past, do not look to your inner child for these answers. she’s not running the show, you are.

so, run the show. after all, the gods are watching.

sweet dreams,

a diouana woman

p.s. truth or dare

you know how in your diary, you write something down then rip it out and place it in the tiny makeup bag you keep in your purse as a manifestation method? yeah, these p.s. truth or dares are the digital versions of my little ripped off notes.

truth: yeah glo! by glorilla. on repeat. i just love the general hype anthem vibe the girls are on right now. glo, meghan, jt. the summer is upon us babes!! we’re doing it big this year!!!

dare: self-doubt. we went over this last night babe. have faith, then do the work.