a lack of personal style is a lack of strong opinions

your attitude matters more than any designer label

disclaimer: the views expressed in this essay are those of the author and do not reflect the views of any employer, past or current.

the best moments in the english language happen when seemingly banal sentences are used as a pejorative. there’s a fun in finding a tongue-in-cheek way to insult someone. a cleverness and creativity that cushions what would otherwise be a rather nasty remark.

the reason i find myself thinking of backhanded remarks is because of this article from the cut. it’s written by the publication’s fashion critic-at-large, cathy horyn. her writing is smart, witty, and slightly bitchy. very french, that. as scathing as her review is of virginie viard’s five years as chanel’s creative director is, the most damning thing that cathy wrote was:

“viard’s work on the whole lacked surprise and innovation but above all authority. her designs didn’t come from a woman of strong opinions (so it would seem) about dress and modern attitudes, who made you want to instantly change how you dressed.”

cathy horyn.

it’s one thing to lack surprise, innovation, and authority in what you do. it’s another thing to be referred to as a woman who lacks strong opinions. in both insistences, you’re not winning. granted, cathy posited this perspective on virginie in regards to virginie’s work as chanel’s chief designer and her lack of a meaningful creative imprint when it came to dressing women, but i do think there’s a life lesson to be taken here.

i’ve written before on the importance of being a difficult woman. since high school i’ve been inspired by elizabeth wurtzel’s 90s chic feminist manifesto on being termed bitch by patriarchal society, and most recently a broadway musical on suffragettes where being termed a great american bitch is the best thing that can happen to you because it means you are standing up for your values. in the case of the musical, a woman’s right to vote.

as has been previously written on this substack, all diouana women have certain inalienable birthrights. these being rest, beauty, love, and luxury. there’s a natural question here of who decided what these birthrights are and the fact that i, and women who also identify as diouana women, get to have them. the answer is “i did!” me. yours truly.

i decided my life will be built upon rest, beauty, love, and luxury because that is my conviction and i am a woman with strong opinions. similarly, you can decide you get to have anything you want in life because that is your conviction and you are a woman with strong opinions. do you see the narrative thread?

it’s one thing to be a bitch. and it’s another thing to have strong opinions. it breaks down like this: there are countless articles, manifestos, and books on the historiography of women being termed bitches, so i’ll save you the details there. the point of having strong opinions is an interesting one because i don’t think you can escape the “bitch” label if you do. at least, if you have strong opinions verbally. there is always the reality available to you where you live your convictions in peace. privy to only those closest to you. and honestly, this is the life. after all, privacy is a luxury. for those of us inclined to share our opinions, we must stand firm in them.

i liken this to dressing. cathy horyn, the cut’s fashion critic-at-large, wrote that “risk is the essence of fashion.” when you put your look together, what are you willing to risk? the now defunct man repeller blog came onto the scene like a lightening bolt because its founder, leandra medine cohen, was willing to risk the male gaze. she shunned it because in her world, she dressed for her own self expression and not for men. thus, “man repeller” was born. and countless women fell in love with both leandra’s style and attitude. better put, her style was her attitude.

when we put together an outfit, or a look, what we are doing is creating a vibe that communicates our opinion. the more personal our outfit or look, the stronger our opinion. this is why personal taste remains paramount. so you mustn’t fall for the litany of “aesthetics” currently swirling. remember, it’s a diouana woman’s truism that you are your own aesthetic. sofia (or jasmine if you prefer) can out sofia you but sofia cannot out you you. so, aspire to be your own moodboard. hold your opinion in higher regard than whatever the algorithm says. after all, the essence of fashion is risk. so risk it. whatever it is for you.

there was an article recently in the cut where actress laura harrier talked about how it girls need to gatekeep more. i understand it’s not the trend and that “hot girls do not gatekeep,” but perhaps the it girl will become a woman who has her own signature scenarios and dares to keep it from us all? perhaps that it girl-turned-mysterious woman will be you. all you have to do is risk it.

sweet dreams,

a diouana woman

p.s. truth or dare

you know how in your diary, you write something down then rip it out and place it in the tiny makeup bag you keep in your purse as a manifestation method? yeah, these p.s. truth or dares are the digital versions of my little ripped off notes.

truth: a personal style built over years of experimenting to nail your essence.

dare: being indistinguishable from the crowd.